Saturday, September 08, 2007

Dear Osama,

"[B]urning living beings is forbidden in our religion, even if they be small like the ant, so what of man?!" -- Osama bin Laden in his latest video.

How 'bout women, Osama-baby? Children?

After reading the transcript of your latest video, I really think you've been hitting Daily Kos a bit much.

By the looks of your new "do," you definitely need to get out more, too. Let the professionals take care of your hair coloring. They do so much better a job than those in-cave dye jobs that come in a box.

If your beard looks that bad, (it's a lousy cut, too) I can only imagine how badly the hair on your head turned out. No wonder you're wearing that hat to hide it. Good move, but trust me on this. The Jackie-Kennedy-pillbox style you're wearing went out of fashion 45 years ago.

I know it goes with the bathrobe you're wearing, Osama-baby, but you need ditch that, too. I realize clothes shopping's been difficult for you, but how many times are you going to wear that ol' thing? You were wearing the same one the last time we saw you!

(I know, I know. It's comfortable. I really do understand. I have a bathrobe just like yours, except mine's baby blue.)

I'm sure no one wants to tell you this, Osama-baby, but no matter how many "wives" you have at your beck and call, you're really not "Hef." Just 'cause he runs around his mansion in his pj's 24/7 doesn't mean you should.

He has Bunnies and a mansion! You, a cave! See the difference?

Anyway . . . "write" again soon, Osama-baby.

We've missed you.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

New Osama video seems yet another forgery. Everyone needs Osama alive:
terrorists as symbolic leader and the US Administration - to avoid
scaling down the war on terror.
Obadiah Shoher rightly notes ( ) that
new Osama talks like a leftist university professor. I like Shoher's
analysis. No way a terrorist leader like Osama would use a speechwriter. Osama is famous
for his rhetoric.
Also, in the tape Osama both threatens America with attack (by
"proving" Americans polytheists) and offers (yet another time)
long-term coaching in Islam.
But his dyed beard makes me cautious. Islam's mujahedeen dye their
beards before battle.

6:45 AM  
Blogger doyle said...

First, Eugene, thanks for not spamming like you did the last time you replied to one of my posts. If you had I would have done the same thing I did before: deleted it.

Secondly, thank you also for staying on topic this time. Otherwise, I would have handled your reply in the same manner. I would have deleted it.

I don't believe the bin Laden tapes, including the one I referenced, are forgeries. If terrorist organizations were going to forge a video of vin Laden, don't you think they would have portrayed him in a more rugged, militaristic manner that echos his early appearances. Their hope would be to instill fear, not laughter.

The same thing applies when it comes to your suggestion that if it isn't the terrorist organizations behind the "forgery," then it must have been the "US Administration — to avoid scaling down the war on terror."

I have to break it to you but it's pretty obvious Osama bin Laden HAS gone Hollyweird. California Dreamin', I'm sure.

Does the name Adam Ghadan ring any bells, Eugene?

6:23 PM  

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