GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

No, I'm not done shopping yet, but I'm done for now. By that I mean I'm done! If I don't call it quits for this afternoon, I'm going to end up in jail.

I'm dressed comfortably: jeans, a festive holiday sweatshirt, sneakers and stopped in an upscale store to get a gift card for Da Kid's fiancé. If that snooty clerk could have looked down her nose at me any more, her eyes would have landed on the floor.

I'm so sorry that I'm not dressed in high heels and a 'monkey suit,' with my hair just done and my fingernails sculptured. Just give me the damned card and I won't defile your glorius store with my presence for one second longer than I have to!

So my next stop is to see if I can pick up the DVDs of a television show Hubby absolutely loves. They're not stocked so I order the first two seasons. No, they won't be here in time for Christmas but no problem. I also pick up a couple of other DVDs to put under the tree, and end up in line behind two people who, as it turned out, were there together. Each one goes to one of the only two registers open at the same time. And each one is getting gift cards. Each one is getting $125 in gift cards, at $5 per card.

What the heck can someone get with a $5 gift card?

Almost an hour later I head to Sam's Warehouse. I know exactly what I'm looking for. If they have it, fine. If not, I'll try somewhere else. Lo and behold, Sam's has what I'm looking for, and a two or three other things on my list, too, that I hadn't expected to find. YES! I get in line to check out, behind two guys who appear to be buying out the entire store. Guy #1 presents a charge card to pay. It bounces, DECLINED. "Try this one, instead." DECLINED. "Well, try this one . . ."

Meanwhile, the woman in back of me is jabbering non-stop on her cellphone while her darling little BRAT is happily entertaining himself the entire time, ramming their shopping cart into my back.

Guy #1 finally runs out bouncing plastic. Guy #2 starts trying his, but they don't work any better.

Jabbering woman, still yammering away non-stop on her cellphone, departed somewhere during this time -- completely abandoning her cart in the line -- when she became upset with the delay, and left dragging her psycho little monster behind her.

Once I finally escaped, I came home instead of going to the big mall across town. I know that mall at this time of year. The first person to cut me off in that parking lot to jump into a parking space, I'd . . .

I know when I've reached my limit and I am way beyond it. So I came home.

UPDATE: Around 5:30, the phone rang. It was Da Kid, reminding me that I'd said I'd go Christmas shopping with him after he got off from work.

It's now 9:30 pee-em and we're home. He's completely done now, and I'm really done. Unfortunately, that doesn't include my Christmas shopping.