Friday, December 17, 2004

Mea Culpa

I received an email advising me that some may have been offended by yesterday's dog cartoon, because I did not provide for the equal treatment of cats.

Although cats are unfunny yowling self-absorbed ego maniacs that hack up gunky hairballs and leave them right where people step in them with their bare feet in the middle of the night, it was neither my intent nor desire to discriminate against them. I was remiss in not affording them equal treatment. Please accept my most sincere apologies.

(I also have never seen one single funny cat cartoon in my entire life except for Calvin and Hobbs, but that's a separate issue.)

In an effort to head off any possible litigation in this matter, I immediately offer the following corrective action:

Wrapping Presents With A Cat

1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3. Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. . .

7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

The remaining steps are here.


Blogger Paula said...

unfunny yowling self-absorbed ego maniacsIt's like a little warm furry Usenet in my lap. At least they don't yell "C*nt!" every two seconds. (I wasn't sure if you allowed Bad Words here.)

9:45 AM  

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