Thursday, December 16, 2004

Poor Larry

As chairman of his employer's morale committee, Liberal Larry has taken on the nightmare of organizing this year's politically-correct Christmas Holiday Mandatory Staff Meeting.

In past years, we've had problems with Christian extremists going nuts and wishing people a "Merry Christmas" despite being strictly warned not to, so we decided to exclude them entirely from this year's event. I had a cunning and quite hilarious plan to issue bogus invitations with phony dates and locations to any suspected Christian employees, but CEO Tony "Sherm" Sherman nixed it. Too risky, he said. Some clever Jesus freak might get wise to the scheme and crash the party. They might start singing "Christmas Carols" or mention Christ - a clear violation of the Separation of Church and State. So we all agreed it would
be best to simply fire the Christians . . .
. . . because they are ruining Christmas for everyone.


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