Saturday, July 08, 2006

I feel a cold coming on

Yesterday morning I was just coming out of the shower when the telephone started ringing. The sensible thing would have been to let the answering machine catch it but I never claimed to have much sense and since I was still on my first cup of coffee, had even less than normal.

A towel wrapped around me, my wet hair streaming I dribbled my way to the telephone.

Gravelly-voiced caller: Hey baby, watcha wearing ...

Me: I'm nekkid. Are you nekkid, baby?

No longer gravvely-voiced caller: Mother!

Da Kid was calling to let me know that he'd be home in 15 minutes and I'd better be dressed and ready to go. Go where? Out for breakfast.

It took a bit longer than 15 minutes for me to be ready to go. Not me, actually, but Starbuck hadn't been out yet and neither he nor the horses had been fed. Which was fine because Da Kid didn't actually get home until about an hour after he'd called. He would have been here much earlier, he claimed, but Herself (whom he'd picked up on the way) hadn't been ready.

Herself rolled her eyes.

Over breakfast as they talked about what they were going to do later since they were both off, Herself interrupted to invite me along. I begged off, or tried to. But no. Da Kid, rolling HIS eyes, told me I was going with them to see Pirates of the Carribean 2 (Dead Man's Chest).

It was all my fault, he explained, that he had to go. If I'd just gone with Herself to see "That Car Cartoon" he wouldn't have to be going to this one. I replied that that didn't make any sense. I didn't want to see "That Car Cartoon" movie and Herself was going to take her three-year-old niece to see it. Turned out the three-year-old didn't want to see it, either, and since Herself didn't have anyone to see it with, she didn't go.

By then my eyes were rolling. Maybe you can figure out the reasoning. I can't. But that's how I ended up going to see Pirates of the Carribean 2 (Dead Man's Chest) yesterday.

Except for Edward Scissorhands (I caught a little of it on, HBO I think, before I changed to another program.) I can't think of thing I've seen with Johnny Depp in it. I keep hearing how great an actor he is and funny in "One" and what a fantastic movie it was. My loss? Dunno. I hadn't seen "One."

It must have been a heck of a movie because when we got to the movie theater a little after 4 o'clock, the first available tickets were for a showing that started at 6. Herself bought the tickets, and we went out to eat.

Again.

Although we had 6 o'clock tickets, we were pushed back to a six-something showing because so many people with tickets were on line. Cops inside the theater trying to help the personnel keep orderly lines. My idea of fun and a fun place to be. Yep. Sure is.

So finally we sit down, drinks and popcorn ready. Perhaps it really was a second 6 o'clock showing. Danged if I know. With all the commercials and previews of coming attractions, the movie itself didn't start until 6:28.

I don't know how long we were in there, but this I can tell you with certainty. The light function on my digital-display watch works although several times I suspected the watch itself had stopped functioning.

SPOILER ALERT: Two people are about to get married except they get arrested by this diabolical fella with powdered curls, but the cute guy escapes promising his horney and extremely eager, virginally BUT spirited wife-to-be before he goes, that he'll be back to rescue her and then Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) shows up (somewhere else) and starts prancing around mimicking the worst stereotype of a gay guy, to my mind, you'll probably ever see.

Other stuff happens.

The diabolical fella has nothing on the really bad guy, whose dead. But not really. (Well, actually he is but with the dripping tentacles covering his head and face, he kinda reminded me of myself only that morning when I ran out of the shower to grab the phone.)

Jack Sparrow almost becomes a fruit ka-bab but at the last moment, manages to scamper away from the cannibals.

More stuff happens, danged if I knew what or why nor did or do I care.

How to put this delicately . . . um, my bladder isn't as youthful as it used to be.

With the Green Mile, another very long movie, I completely forgot about any . . . um, any need. There was none.

But with Pirates of the Carribean 2 (Dead Man's Chest), I held on a long as I could. And when I got back to my seat, only a minute or two was left before the credits began rolling.

The good news was that the movie was finally over. (YES!) The bad news is, as Da Kid told me as we were leaving, like Matrix II this movie leaves you hanging. The "story" won't be concluded until Pirate 3 is released . . . next year.

When it is I'm hoping I'll have something else already scheduled.

If I don't, I'll think of something.

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