Saturday, December 29, 2007


Tomorrow on FOX News Sunday With Chris Wallace, Fred Thompson and David Yepsen.

David Yepsen? Who's he?

"If any man knows Iowa politics, it's the Des Moines Register's David Yepsen. We'll ask David who's up, who's down and what surprises we might expect when the caucuses arrive."


LATER: The transcript is here.

Fred notes in the opening paragraphs one of the media's latest hatchet jobs, and provides here what he actually said.

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Friday, December 28, 2007


Almost out of milk, I made a mad dash to the store today and couldn't help but notice that one of this week's supposed sales was bell peppers at $2.69 a pound. For all I know that might be a darned good price, but unless I need them fresh because I'm taking my cucumber salad somewhere, all I have to do is grab a bag from the freezer.

It feels great now (as it always does later) but three months ago I was almost in tears I was so tired. It was 10:30 p.m. before I finished getting that $10 case of bell peppers ready for the freezer, and as always the last part was the worst.

The cups (perfectly shaped for later stuffing) and strips were already in the freezer. The last part, the worst part, as always was dicing all the small or odd-ball shaped bell peppers, and those from which I'd cut out bad spots.

It's worth it in the end, but from now on that dreaded dicing will be an absolute cinch.


Thanksgiving before last was the first time I'd "worked prep" for Sis and Mama — Herself's older sister and their mother — as they were cooking for their annual family gathering. Only a small, intimate group this time (thank goodness), which for them meant just 50 to 75 people expected.

My job was to do whatever they told me. Since they really didn't know whether I'd be a help or hindrance, they sat me at the kitchen table and placed before me mountains of vegetables to chop and dice. I did so well when I repeated my performance for their Christmas dinner, this time they even let me use a sharp knife.

Having proved myself capable, I wasn't just invited to help with Thanksgiving this year. I was expected.

I'd just started dicing ... whut.ever when Sis said, "Wait a second. Mama doesn't like newfangled stuff but try this and see if you like it." She reached in a cabinet and brought out one of those choppers that you often see advertised on TV.

I was skeptical, not that I said anything. I've been suckered into buying a few of these things before and if work at all, they're more trouble than they're worth. (Besides, it was a particularly dangerous time in that kitchen because Mama was rolling out pie crusts. If they don't roll out right she's been known things, starting with her rolling pin.)

But this chopper worked so incredibly well, soon — and to Sis and Mama's horror — I was keeping time with it as I mangling an old Harry Belafonte tune with my own lyrics:

Come little Mama-san and bring me some more celery! <CRUNCH>
Any more peppers ‘cause I'm almost da-UN! <CRUNCH>
Come little Sister-mon, bring me some more celery! <CRUNCH>
Any more onions ‘cause I'm almost done! <CRUNCH>

DAAAAAAAAAAAY-oh! <waving my hands over my head>
Any more onions ‘cause I'm almost done!
What previously had taken me three hours to do with a knife, I finished in a third of the time.

If I promised not to sing, Sis said she'd let me use it again when it came time to work on the Christmas dinner. And she did.

In fact, for Christmas she gave me my very own Vidalia Chop Wizard.

No link?

Why pay shipping and handling when there's no need! Just pick one up the next time you're in Target, WalMart, CVS Pharmacy, Bed Bath & Beyond ...

You will thank me.

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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007


That's what you can call me. No problemo!!!!

Everything's wrapped. No, it's not but as wrapped as it's gonna get. I already told Da Kid there's one present for him and Herself I ain't gonna wrap, ‘cause I ain't gonna try to left that bleeeeeeepidy-bleeeeeeepidy-bleeeeeeep-bleep thing again. He thinks he knows what it is, but it ain't.

Meanwhile, Herself and I got him both things he'd "hinted" at, one for Christmas and the other thing for his birthday on the 26th. Not that he's expecting both. Which is good ‘cause he's not getting either one. He will, eventually, ‘cause they're paid for just not here. Here-here. Or there-there meaning their house.

No, they're both still at the warehouse which is where Herself was supposed to get them from yesterday while I kept Da Kid busy. Which I did. But the arrangements Herself made with someone who has a truck fell through so both items are still ... there. At the warehouse there. Which is where they're gonna stay ‘til Da Kid goes over with HIS truck to get them himself!


I turned on the radio thinking some nice Christmas music would improve my mood. But I can't find a station playing any.

Whether AM or FM my choices are rock, hard rock, acid rock, classic rock, country-western, any number of people screaming Come-to-Jesus sermons in ebonics, Southern Baptist , or Spanish, and a trial lawyer talking to some woman who wants to know how she can sue her surgeon ‘cause her breast implants turned out lopsided.

If there's one good thing today, I went to the grocery store for my very last trip before Christmas. Thee last! That's it! I won't have to go again ‘til after. I REFUSE!

I'm not crazy. I'm NOT!

It was bad enough today (CRASH! BANG! BOOM!) with people smashing into each other, running over each other with their buggies. One woman blocked a display (and the entire aisle) while the man with her shoveled armloads of batteries into their cart.

With that much, panic buying you would have thought a CAT 5 hurricane was coming in.

I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. I will! Tomorrow's baking day. Just me and the mixer getting stuff baked to take over to Herself's parents' house Christmas Day ...

Oh no.

Awwww shit.

I forgot to buy eggs.


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

WHUMP! The windows rattled ...

... and I felt the floor shake. Damn! I thought. A tree must have come over ... hit the house? I headed outside. Seth, my neighbor's son, yelled over, "What the hell was that?"

"Damned if I know," I replied. But if it had affected him, too, it probably wasn't a tree. And it wasn't.

I'd just gone back inside when the radio station I had on bleeped its breaking news tones. The announcer said they were receiving as yet unconfirmed reports of an explosion of some sort in an area that isn't all that far away from us.

I went over to let Seth know. I turned around after I did and there rising in the sky over the trees, was a freakin' mushroom cloud.

Da Kid estimates I'm more than five miles away.

TV station photographs here. An earlier report from the same station here.

Four now reported dead.


Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Open the door!

I didn't need to pee that bad after all!

Let me in! It'th cold out here!

I'm thtill out here!

I know you're in there!

I can hear you.

I can hear your footthteps!


I KNOW you're in there!

I can hear you laughing!

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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Iowa's GOP "Debate"

I'm almost done watching today's version starring the Democrats. Thank gawd I had the good sense to tape the danged thing so that I can watch it in bits and pieces. Quite frankly, I can only stand so much before I'm overcome with disgust.

The format, identical to yesterday's and all the "debates" to date, aren't real debates. They've been designed solely to generate sound bytes. Nothing more. And there was nothing speshul in today's: everybody said the exact same thing as the other one did, which is the exact same thing they've all been saying from the start.

Increase the taxes on the rich! (Obama says $75,000 a year qualifies.)

Universal healthcare!

Too bad Kucinich wasn't allowed to participate in this one. He's at least have livened it up a bit.

I taped yesterday's GOP debate, too, and also found myself stopping that one repeatedly. But it was to replay certain segments. Some more than once.

WASHBURN (moderator): ...I want to take on a new issue. I would like to see a show of hands. How many of you believe global climate change is a serious threat and caused by human activity?

THOMPSON: (I'm not into hand-sign games today. Crosstalk with moderator. -- ed.) You want to give me a minute to answer that?

WASHBURN: No, I don't.

THOMPSON: Well, then I'm not going to answer it.



(APPLAUSE) (from several candidates,too, while some asked for 30 seconds to respond. -- ed.)

THOMPSON: You want a show of hands. I'm not giving it to you.
Washburn then let only the GOP candidates who'd indicated a positive reponse to her question speak.



American 15-year-olds ranked behind 16 other countries in a recent assessment of science literacy. What educational standards does the U.S. need to adopt or improve to compete in the global economy? And what will you do to move us toward those standards? And what's your timetable?
I agreed with all the responses, but Fred's stood alone. He began:

THOMPSON: The question was, what's the biggest impediment to education?

WASHBURN: What is the biggest obstacle standing in the way and how would you address it?

THOMPSON: The biggest obstacle, in my opinion, is the National Educational Association, the NEA.

I read time and time again, every time someone wants to inject a little choice into the equation for the benefit of the kids, inject a little freedom, inject a little competition, because we're not exactly doing that well because of the things that you pointed out earlier, the NEA is there to oppose it and bring in millions and millions of dollars to go on television and work and scare people and misrepresent the situation on the ground.
Later still:

WASHBURN: Senator Thompson, you've expressed doubts that the recent report on Iran's nuclear capabilities is accurate. As president, how would you decide when to disagree with available intelligence and then what would you do?

THOMPSON: Now, that's probably the most important question that's been asked today.
Throughout the "debate" Mitt sounded, as usual, perfectly scripted and completely rehearsed. Rudy seemed almost a bit . . . uh, timid, as if afraid somebody was going to bring up something ugly. Several times I thought Huckabee was going to call everyone to prayer, and McCain seemingly turned on his handy-dandy tape recorder, saying the same things he's been saying during every single "debate." And as far as I know, NOBODY has yet discovered why the hell Alan Keyes was even there.

The pundits and talking heads have been proclaiming Mitt the winner. In MY most humble opinion they're wrong.
In saying enough of these games, the winner -- on our behalf -- was Fred.

LATER: Byron York fills in the gaps in the "hand-sign" portion of the transcript in Fred Thompson: The Stand-Up Guy Who Stood Up Too Late?

Pam links with Political Thursday.

And, I went back and cleaned up some of my typos.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's just not fair!

The Tweat Lady let me out to pee and poop and then she put me in her caw and we went for a wide and then we were at this place with music and noise and funny people-wides that go up and down and wound and wound but weally don't go anywhere and there's big people and little people all over the place, coming up and gwabbing me saying, "What a cute doggie!" and twying to feed me gooooooooood-smelling stuff but the Tweat Lady kept telling them not to ‘cause I'd puke.

And then ... and then ... and then I saw My Guy with a bunch of other guys, and ladies, too, and they had MORE gooooooooood-smelling stuff but My Guy wouldn't let THEM give me any, either, telling them I'd puke.

Next thing the other guys, and ladies, too, are passing me ‘wound saying, "What a cute doggie!"

One of the other guys had dogs. Big dogs like Stawbuck but funny looking. White with spots all over ‘em.

THEY got sit in the BIG woo-woo cars and eat everything the little people gave them! But not me!

It's just not fair!

When I get big, I wanna be a Damnation!!!

Fwedwick The Gweat


And I got to go to another carnival!

Fwedwick The Gweat

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Quotable Quotes

"Democrats bemoan the lack of 'affordable housing' while simultaneously demanding government rescue home 'owners' with unsustainable mortgages. But saving the latter obstructs the former: the principal benefit of a property-bubble correction is, after all, much more 'affordable housing.'" -- Mark Steyn

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Friday, December 07, 2007

Busy work

This morning the local weatherjerk was STILL prognosticating that -- on his ten-point scale with ten being perfection -- today was going to be a nine.

I don't know about anybody else here in Northeast Florida, but I've been freezing my ass off all day and the sky hasn't changed one bit. It looks like the ones I grew up with when there's a snow storm coming.

In other words the local weatherjerk can't actually predict the weather. No weatherjerk can with any degree of reliability.

But that doesn't stop Colorado State University meteorologists Philip Klotzbach and William Gray from issuing their hurricane forecast today.

"Wait!" I'm sure you're saying. "Better check the date of the article, Doyle, because the hurricane season just ended November 30!"

Silly, Klotzbach and Gray -- those busy bees -- were predicting how many storms we can expect during the next hurricane season that starts June 1, 2008!

``With this early lead time, there's only so much you can say, because the season doesn't start for another seven months,'' Klotzbach said in an interview. ``The reason we do them is there's a lot of curiosity. People want to start making plans.'' -- Bloomberg
The weatherjerks can't even predict accurately what the weather is going to be tomorrow, but we're supposed to "start making plans" now based on their predictions for a hurricane season that doesn't even start for seven months?

Somebody needs to fine these two some REAL work to do.


Pearl Harbor Day

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

It's really not that hard, Rudy

From the Associated Press, this regarding Rudy Giuliani and the FairTax:

"I think there are several tax deductions that are vital to our economy," Giuliani said. "This would not be a good time — I don't know if there would ever be a good time to do this — to advocate ending the home mortgage deduction. The home mortgage deduction is considered by many critical to the ability of people to buy a home and keep their home."

He also said deductions for charitable contributions and state and local taxes were important tax breaks that the plan would eliminate. The plan calls for getting rid of the Internal Revenue Service and giving taxpayers a monthly rebate on taxes on purchases up to the poverty line.
If under the FairTax you're not paying any Federal income taxes to start with, Rudy, what are you going to take these deductions from?

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Stuck On Stupid

Da Kid, who'd finally gotten a day off, and I were "out and about" the other day. Our last stop was a big-box home improvement store to pick up some screws and a couple nuts and bolts of a particular (and apparently peculiar) size. We also wanted to do some exploratory shopping.

We're aren't in a big rush. We're getting by but Herself and Da Kid's stove needs replacin' and so does my washing machine. Generally, we both know what we want and some of the manufacturers are offering special deals if you buy more than one appliance at the same time. So, let's see what's out there!

Da Kid's over by the stoves looking at all the different models and I'm checking out the washing machines. This guy, one of the store's salesmen, walks up and tells me he'll be happy to answer any questions I might have.

And I did have a specific question about the difference between two of the washing machines. I asked my question and after obviously a great deal of deep thought, the salesman said he didn't know the answer. But, he'd find out the answer, he said, and be right back.

Except, he never left.

Instead, he stood there telling me about the store's plan to move the appliance section to a different location in the store and why, in his opinion, it was a big mistake.

The store hasn't been moving as many appliances as it thinks it should be selling, and once the sections are merged they're probably going to reduce staff. They don't understand, he said, that buyers expect service!

When he FINALLY shut up, he headed off in Da Kid's direction telling me to let him know if I had any questions regarding the washing machines.

He'd be happy to answer them.

It's not good to mess with a nurse, especially one who's finished up another one of those shifts in the area's emergency room. They have HAD IT!

"Karen," Herself's best friend and a fellow nurse, getting in her car to head home realized she was low on gas. Pulling into a station a few blocks from the hospital, she'd just filled the tank when she felt something pushed against her back and heard, "Give me the keys."

Karen complied and as the two "utes" scrambled into her car, she took off for the station's office yelling, "Call the police! They're stealing my car!"

The cashier was in the process of doing so when the door banged open.

Captured on the station's video surveillance camera that the cops now have, is one of the "utes" — the driver — screaming at Karen, "How do you drive it?"

Then him throwing her keys on the floor in disgust and running out the door when she screamed back, "You can't drive standard, ASSHOLE?"

Pam included me in her Wednesday Linkage!


Saturday, December 01, 2007

Picture this?

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